it's not mars, nor poland... it's home.

I spent this past Memorial Day weekend with the kids in my home town of Tarkio, Missouri.

While "city folk" might compare visiting Tarkio to an experience in a foriegn land or on different planet, I couldn't think of a much better place to call home. We had a great time with family and friends. My sister has several fantastic pictures to prove it. While Tarkio isn't quite what it once was, there still is a wonderful Alumni party each May. This year it brought together Tarkio's first 3 bloggers. With a little brainwork from the briefcase you might actually find something of substance(s).

this could be trouble....

Last week, I received one of those letters no one ever wants to see in their mailbox. The Internal Revenue Service was making a case for some back taxes they felt were owed to them.

I wasn't pleased about it, but in usual fashion was confident things would be resolved without much trouble. I sent the letter over to my tax man and until today hadn't thought much about it. Turns out the IRS is taking things much more seriously than I. Below is yesterday's detail for one specific visitor to my site:

IP Address: 152.216.7.# (INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE)
ISP: INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE
City: District of Columbia
State: Washington
Time of Visit: May 19 2006 10:33:38 am
Referring URL: http://blogsearch.go...author:Brett
Search Engine: blogsearch.google.com
Search Words: inpostauthor:brett smith

Come on Uncle Sam. If you are so concerned, pick up the phone and give me a call. I wonder if they use Google to catch all the bad guys?

Traffic doesn't equal revenue....flirting might.

MySpace is killing Amazon in traffic, getting 4 times the number of web page views a day. Should Amazon be worried? Nope. Seth Godin tell us why in simple terms.

Amazon users visit to buy stuff, and MySpace users visit to flirt.

Last time I checked, flirting was a fairly unprofitable activity.

I've got an exception to that rule Seth, there are several saleswomen that can turn a nice profit flirting.

A Big Adventure

Isn't it funny how the littlest of things can take a turn for a big new experience. Back at the beginning of the year, I signed Savanna up for her second year of soccer. I was ready for several weekends of watching games but that changed with this email:

Dear Parents -

I have been working on forming teams for the U5 girls division and I still have 12 girls without a coach. This means I am forming 2 teams of 6 girls and I need two volunteers to coach.

Please let me know if you can coach this season, because if not, these 12 girls will not be able to play and I do not want that to happen.

Thanks,
Karen Baird
U5 Girls Commissioner

I have very little soccer experience and even less skill but after two days without a volunteer stepping up I decided I would coach the team.

It's been a fantastic experience. While we've yet to win a game we've all had a ton of fun. Saturday's game was worth writing about. It was a game of many first. Savanna scored her 1st goal, which gave us our 1st lead of the season. And after falling behind 5-2 we came back and had our 1st tie game late in the 4th quarter before losing 5-6. The girls have made SO much improvement in a short amount of time. They've done almost all of it on their own.

The Explorers play their final game of the year this Saturday. Savanna, Tori (who won't play unless it's a blue ball), Kaylie, Camryn and Elizabeth (didn't make the picture) take the field at 10:30.

a not so extraordinary collection

my new medium to communicate

I recently received my Verizon cell phone bill and for the second consecutive month I've exceed 1,100 text messages. Do the math, that's just a shade over 36 messages a day, every day.

For a select few of you, I can see the wheels turning in your head. That's just ridiculous. I ensure you, texting is not for school days alone. A few benefits:

There are no uncomfortable silences or talking over each other.
No answers and voicemails are not an option.
Grammatical errors are not only accepted they are encouraged!

the evolution of dance

This one was sent to me today. It is a rare display of ingenuity combined with phenomenal talent. It's six minutes of entertainment. Enjoy.

i've got a great memory it's just short

There was a third, short topic I had hoped to blog about but I've forgotten it. It was there when I started writing but it's gone now.

Buyers Market at Boston Market

Some mornings I wake up feeling great. I roll out of bed with anticipation of what the day will bring. Today was one of those mornings. I mean WOW! Something good was bound to happen today. Luckily for me I only had to wait for lunch to find out what it was.

I made the short trip from my office to the Boston Market (BTW when looking up the link, I found coupons! I could have saved a buck.) just down the road. I entered the restaurant with a pretty good feel for what I wanted. I was distracted initially by the new menu that had been placed above the order station. Following a brief re-acclamation to my choices I placed the order. Immediately, I noticed the employees had new hats. These weren't your typical chain food hats, these hats had style. I had to have one.

Time to start selling. Even when you are buying you should sell.

"Are those hats for sell?" I asked. Now the two employees behind the counter thought this was a real funny question. "No, they aren't for sell."

Pay them a compliment, this get's them to drop there guard.

"Well the should be, those are sharp hats." "Can you get me one?" At this point they have no idea what to do. Apparently such a request had never been made. Several more employees were starting to find humor in our conversation. Then much like John Wayne would ride in to town, here came the store manager out of the back office. She stared right though me.

I wasn't sure what to do.... "I'm free advertising for you." I was in! "Are you going to wear it at the Byron Nelson?" she asked. "Absolutely." She had one last question, "Are you going to act like a fool?"

Here I made a common sales mistake. I assumed I knew the answer for which she was looking. Thank goodness it didn't kill the deal.

"Me? No I won't act like a fool." I was smiling ear to ear. "Well then you can't have it." All her employees thought she was hilarious.


Hat and a great meal, $8.99.

Parenting is easy.

Any parent looking for a weekend full of kids activities in the DFW area should look no further than Dallas' GuideLive.com. Now granted, Saturday afternoon was already filled up with a soccer game and birthday party but other open times filled up quickly.

Friday's plans were made easy when I heard that Brian Fields, a member of our Covad team, and his band were playing a youth concert not to far from Mansfield. The evening was a big hit with Savanna as she broke into her own dance routine several times.

Saturday we got up early to catch a (free) kids magic show in Fort Worth. After grabbing a quick bit to eat we got ready for our second to last soccer game. The team put together it's best game of the year. Still losing in excess of 10 goals but scoring a season high 5 goals. I can promise you, compared to our other games this one felt like a win. On a side note Savanna is really aggressive. Had this been real soccer she certainly would have been red carded. The post game birthday party wore out Savanna as I had hoped so we stayed in Saturday evening.

Sunday, following church we headed north to Willow Bend Mall for a butterfly exhibit. On the way to the event I made a failed attempt to teach Savanna about a Toll Road. I ran into such objections as "This road is mean!" or "Don't let it take my dimes Dad!". Anyway, we burned a good part of the afternoon and both kids had a nice time.

Savanna took this one.



Beck didn't take this one.

Better than the real thing...

A short time back I spent a few days in the "city" visiting my good friend Jason Ratliff.

On Saturday afternoon, right in the middle of a great weekend, Jason and I took a trip to Shea Stadium; to catch my first Mets game. We had a wonderful time. The weather was great, we got on the "jumbotron" and I saw the infamous Mets fan wearing a Red Sox jersey that read Buckner 86 on the back.

If the jersey doesn't make any sense to you watch this great replay of Game 6. It's a bit long but well worth it. Click on the play button, it will load.

It's all about the positive attitude.

So this morning I was encouraging Savanna to brush her teeth. "Let's Race!" I hollered.

Into the bathroom I ran. By the time she caught up with me, I'm was nearly finished.

Me: "I'm the winner!"

Savanna: "We aren't racing."

Me: "Winner, Winner!"

Savanna: "IT WASN'T A RACE!!!"

Me: "Chicken Dinner."

Savanna: "Dad! STOP!"

Me: "How's second place feel?"

Savanna: "TERRIFIC!"

Second Fiddle Again....

It's not so much winning or losing, MUCH more important is winning or losing within the family. Yet again (for the 8 time in 9 tries).... Melanie has secured second place in the annual Smith Family NCAA Tournament bracket. Congrats!!! Your the first loser, the top runner up!!!

I am stuck with first, again. All those high expectations. Forced to listen to excuses from the other participants. Sure it was just one point. Yea, who could have picked the games correctly this year.

If you see her....

Give her a smile, a pat on the shoulder or a big hug. There's always next year.

HOOTERS is kid friendly!

Yea, Yea... I know I've been neglecting the blog lately. There's no need for any detailed excuses. I'll just work on keeping "all ya all" (plural for "ya all" and yes I've been in Texas 10 years now) better informed and hopefully entertained.

So I had the kids Saturday and was tasked with the challenge of meeting everyone's wants and needs all at the same time for dinner. Beck made it easy, he just needed his bottle. Savanna and I were a bit more difficult. First off, I didn't want to make anything nor clean up afterward. I also wanted to be sure and catch two games on TV; the Mavs and the NCAA Basketball Tourney. Savanna on the other hand was more worried about the food. "Dad, I want cheeeeese sticks and uuhhhmmmm... ranch!" I suggested she have some chicken as well, to which she agreed. This left us only one choice for dinner, HOOTERS!

Trust me, I know the place was suspect at best for kids but we had a great time. Savanna loved sitting on the "big tall chairs". She got a great coloring sheet with 4 new crayons. Our waitress was kid friendly. She let Savanna try and throw our order into their kitchen on the fancy "tennis ball on a wire" system. Most importantly to Savanna, they served ranch with everything.

I got to watch both my games and Beck loved it too....

Refusing to Accept Free

This evening, following dinner Savanna asked me if I wanted any dessert. Knowing I was in for more than a tasty teat, I gladly accepted her offer.

Savanna: "How about some imagination Ice Cream?"
Me: "Ohhh, Sounds perfect."
Savanna: "What kind do you want?"
Me: "Vanilla with Oreo cookies."

she makes two imagination scoops then mixes it up a bit

Savanna: "Here you go. That'll be $25 dollars."
Me: "$25 Dollars?!"

she gives up way to quick....

Savanna: "How about $4 dollars" Holding out 4 fingers.
Me: "How about free?"
Savanna: "Ok, $3 dollars."

now I'm laughing and she's confused

Me: "No. FREE!"
Savanna: "What is Free?"
Me: "Zero"
Savanna: "Ok, give me Zero."
Me: "You drive a hard bargain, but ok."

I gave her two imagination Zeros to make her feel better.

Kobe Bryant will be the 2008 USA Basketball Team

My sister just pointed me to a great spoof article on the 2008 Olympic USA Basketball team.

Turns out instead of having a "team" of individuals, the USA wants to go with just one, Kobe Bryant. David Stern justifies the decision by stating, "81 points will beat a lot of teams, especially foreign ones."

Not the One and Only

Yesterday afternoon I had what is sure to be a once in a lifetime event happen. An event so rare, that I am willing to bet good money it will never happen to any of you out there reading my blog. It's a bit confusing. but I'll do my best to explain.

I had a scheduled 2pm meeting at a North Dallas Starbucks with a fellow telcom sales rep. I knew of the guy I was meeting but had never seen him in person. Appproaching the coffee house doors I could see just inside there were two men fitting my contacts profile. As I opened the doors both men were smiling suspiciouly. I admit I was courious.

"I'm Brett Smith"

"Who are you here to see" says the guy on the left.

"Mark"

The first guy directs my attention to the second. As we shake hands he's still smiling.

"What's up?" I ask looking back to the other guy.

He really thinks it's funny now, "I'm here to meet Brett Smith also."

"Are you serious?" I ask.

He goes on to explain that he also had a 2pm meeting at this same North Dallas Starbucks with a Brett Smith he had yet to meet. 3 minutes later his story proved to be true when Brett Smith #2 showed up.

Can somebody tell me the probability of that happening? Where's Otis Miller when you need him.

Updating the blogroll

Today I read 45% of bloggers stop posting to their site just 3 months after their blog is created. I guess that would explain why yet another blog on my "Good Blog" list is going to the graveyard.

In his last post, dated 12/21, Reese wrote about a donut thief. Did the thief also steal your computer? or maybe just each good idea for a blog. Reese joins C Mill1 and Johnny Stevens in the used to read but no longer post bucket. There's no lid on the bucket fellas, start posting again anytime.

Out with the old, in with the new... Professor David Freeland has done his best to get me in the musical mainstream. Back in the day, which is getting to be WAY back in the day, I was right smack dab in the middle of the mainstream. D. Lee and I DJ'ed all the coolest (high school) parties held in northwest Missouri. Slowly but surely I lost track of what all the cool kids were playing on their boom boxes. Dr. Dave is solving those problems. He's got me listening to Bloc Party, Arcade Fire and Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah. I ain't cool, but at least my music is. You too can join the music fun. Just check out Hearsay on my "Good Blogs" list.

HD Net

This week, HD Net is playing the U2 Vertigo concert from Chicago. I clicked on it (DirectTv channel 79) last night and caught nearly an hour of the 1 1/2 show. Other than the 2004 Olympics, it's the best show I've seen in HD.

Happy Birthday!

The whole blogging thing isn't easy. This morning, I was riding the wonderful waves of the internet. A cool breeze was blowing through my golden locks. It was raining outside, but in our office (as it does on most days) the sun was shining. Anyway, I stumbled on a little gem of a blog topic.

The Oscar Mayer Wienermoblie turns 70 this year! Can you believe it? I thought is would only be about half my age.

Way back in 1996, I was on a little weekend trip down in Houston when I spotted the Wienermoblie on the freeway. For all you wiener dog lovers out there, it was only 9 1/2 dog years old at the time and didn't show its age at all. Luckily, they stoped to fill up its 32 gallon fuel tank only 15 minutes after I began to follow them. I had to see the inside of the Wiener. The hotdog on wheels was spectacular. Roomy, comfortable and loaded with lots of free giveaways. The folks driving loved their jobs.

So to make this whole blog post work, I had to find my photo from the event. Given that I hadn't seen the photo since before I was married I knew it could be trouble locating it. I sorted through 3 file cabinets and roughly 12 boxes from our last 2 moves before finally locating the picture.

Hotdogs sound good, huh?

the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

Savanna is a fantastic kid. She is bright, energetic, charming and like most kids her age, impressionable. Unfortunately, a few things I found to be pretty funny didn't go over too well with the faculty at school.

Savanna, thankfully, couldn't get anyone to sing along to, "when the pimps get an attitude, drop it like it's hot." Nor did Mrs. Kelly find it funny when Savanna took counting a whole different direction, "1, 2, 3... and to the 4 Snoop Doggy Dog and Dr. Dre at the door."

Just when her music interest had been cleaned up another problem arose. When fellow classmates would get up to go use the restroom Savanna would holler "LET IT RIP!" Really funny, but disruptive to any classroom environment.

So, I took the heat. Cut out the funny business and cleaned up my act. It was smooth sailing at school for several months. Then Apa came to town.

We were just about finished putting together the trampoline. I was hanging up the safety net when my pants were pulled down to my ankles. I calmly finished tying the net then turned to find the guilty party. There they were. Two peas in a pod, Apa and Savanna giggling uncontrollably.

Savanna thinks the new "game" is hilarious. It won't be long before she tries it at school and when she does Apa will have some explaining to do.

bounce with me

Growing up, I was the kid in town with the trampoline. It was a source of entertainment just about anytime the weather would allow for me to get on it. I mastered flips, twists and turns. When I could get away with it, I would move it under the basketball hoop for a game of "slamball." I even remember sleeping on it a time or two.

Well, about three weeks ago my Aunt Carol called to let me know she and Grandma Irene were buying Savanna and Beck a trampoline for our backyard. I have to admit, I was more excited than Savanna to here the news. Today, after the rain cleared up, Dad and I pieced together what is sure to be a ton of fun for the family.

the kid can sell

I've yet to gain Vanita's approval (not that I need to), but I'm going to go ahead to offer Savanna up for employment. I'm telling you, this girl can close a deal.

This evening, Vanita was out of the house leaving me to tend to the kids. When it came time for Savanna to have her evening glass of warm milk I though it was time to change the routine.

Me: Savanna I don't make warm milk anymore.

Savanna: WHAT? DAD! I want warm milk.

Me: Sorry, Savanna. It's cold milk or no milk at all.

Savanna: Ok, Dad you put the cold milk in my cup. (she pauses, I can only assume she is looking for buying signals) Then put it in the microwave and I'll push the buttons. OK?

Really, I tried to come up with an answer other than "fine" or "ok" but couldn't. Zig Zigler look out, even on your best day, you don't have a chance.