Royal Treatment

This afternoon, when I arrived home, I found the mail in its usual place on the dining room table. There stacked nicely on top of letters, the Pottery Barn and West Elm magazines was an average sized white padded envelope. My curiosity instantly rose.

I passed the stack on my way to set down my things and noticed it had my name on the envelope. What could this be thought? I don't remember ordering anything. Upon closer inspection, I found the package to be from the legendary Eric Levings. Ah, Yes. Eric had called me last week to let me know he had something he was sending my way. I ripped open the envelope to find.....

What a perfect gift! The Royals play the Rangers this week at the Ballpark in Arlington. I'll be attending the final game on Thursday afternoon. Thanks Eric, with the Sprint logo on the sleeve I hope to get away with wearing it to work.

Golf - Byron Nelson Style

Who says you can't hold a golf tournament without Tiger Woods? With great weather and a new course design, Dallas' annual golf tourney was better than ever.

Odds are half the people in this photo won't see a single golf shot all weekend. It's one of the 3 best weekends to live in Dallas.

Big Time

Big news from the Tarkio Awards' Banquet held this past Monday. My Mom was named Citizen of the Year! She was recognized for her many years of volunteer service to, and support of, Tarkio. She is currently active in Tarkio Renewal and the Tarkio Development Company as well as outreach work through the Tarkio Presbyterian Church.


I checked with my Dad and was told in spite of the award he is still the household boss. I'd say it's debatable.

Simply Lucky

Yesterday a milestone was achieved. After 6 long years and 10 attempts at managing a fantasy team, I FINALLY finished with a 1st place victory. Yes, I won my Fantasy NBA "Ohs" League.


As much as I would like to say I had the best team, it was lots of luck that left me at the top this season. It seems to me luck plays as much of a factor as any when lacing up the fantasy shoes. Granted good managers get their teams in position to win year after year, but most times it is luck that determines the winner. A few examples from this season.

My 3 Keepers (best players) Amare Stoudemire, Baron Davis and Rashard Lewis spent very little time injured. A few of my toughest competitors limped into the playoffs with their best men on the IL.

John Salmons. Never heard of him? It's no surprise, John was my last pick in the draft at #146. Then Ron Artest and other Kings went down to injury leaving my man John with loads of playing time. What Luck! He finished the 86th best player.

The last example happened to our league's best player, the atm machines. He's so money. On the last day of his semi-final game Mo Williams, averaging 6.4 assists, sat out with stomach pains. ATM finished the game in an "assists" dead tie 162 - 162. Then lost on the tie breaker, "most points". Ouch!

Without ATM's misfortunes I surely would have been left chasing my first title again next year.

I'll end with an old telecom saying.... "I'd rather be lucky than good any day of the week."

it's a gamble

It started with a "let's all get together". Lots of planning (not by me) and a few flights later resulted in 2 Great Grandmothers, 4 Grand Parents, 1 Great Aunt, 5 Aunts/Uncles, 5 Parents and 6 Kids under the age of 7 all at Harrah's in Kansas City.


It wasn't your typical weekend trip to a casino, but it was one great family reunion. Lots more photos on Flickr.

the new ride

After 3 days of researching, shopping and negotiating, I finally settled on a new automobile. The Jeep Patriot. It's no BMW or Audi A3 but will get the job done.

The best part certainly was being on the opposite end of the sell. Over the 3 day process I heard several little attempts at closing the deal. With Sarah's help all were were shot down. Oh, and it being the last day of the month didn't hurt either.

I'm a wreck.

I came away with 6 stitches but the car wasn't so lucky.

you can't go anywhere...

You'd think one would be safe sneaking off to spend a week with family. But when you have celebrity good looks, the paparazzi always seems to show up.


This photo landed Luke on the cover of The Avalanche. One can only guess how much the photographer was paid.

Yet another fan of Tarkio

While Sarah and I were enjoying the sunny beaches of the Caribbean, Luke traveled north to the very popular destination of Tarkio, Mo.


As one would expect, Luke loved T-town and had a great week with Grandma and Apa. I posted several of the photos from his trip on Flickr today.

Left Sider!!!

WAAYYY Back in 1995 four good friends, "Buddy", two monkeys, an occasional "Gizmo" and I lived in a great little place at 444 Spring Ave. Good ol' 444 certainly had more memories than the structure could physically hold.

One such memory was the 5 of us, and usually a few others, visiting a favorite spot, Legends, for a few rounds of darts on their two side by side electronic machines. During these trips you were either a winner, playing on the right machine and thus a "Right Sider" or a loser on the left machine, "Left Sider." I'm sure my memory is a bit fuzzy but I don't recall spending much time as a Left Sider. Trust me, Right Siders was a great group to be a part of.

Today, with much resistance I rented a car and joined all Cayman drivers as Left Siders. What a sorry bunch! Before pulling onto the road ALWAYS LOOK RIGHT! Left on Red? Are you crazy!?! We survived and wasted the $13 of full insurance coverage.

making friends with the locals

Sarah and I are just about to finish off our first full day in the Cayman Islands. Today, two things didn't go as expected.

1) Although it's much warmer than most of the country, Texas is no place to work on your tan in December and January. Our SPF 4 "sun screen" lost the battle with the sun. Tonight, we are walking lobsters with limited options tomorrow.

2) Looking to pick up a few necessities, I made a short walk down the street to the neighborhood store. Being the only customer at the time I thought I would make nice with the local resident behind the counter. She was quite engaging.

local: "Where are you from?"
me: "Texas"

a little small talk then...

local: "Who are you voting for?"
me: "McCain."

something told me before I even answered that I was stepping on a bomb. now she's not so friendly.

local: "He wants to get rid of all the immigrants"
me: "kind of?"
local: "not good"

I'll be keeping my political opinions to my self for the remainder of the trip.

One Shining Moment

Let's start with the end of the story. You will love this one.

Yesterday, at the end of the day, Sarah stated "I don't remember ever being so proud."

I was in a work meeting for most of the day. As things were finishing up at the office, I received a text from Sarah. It read, "Where is the fuse box?"

Curious, but having a good idea what was up, I texted her back "Outside by the whirlpool."

5 minutes later another text "I FIXED THE HEATER!"

You see, the heater at the house has been on the fritz. As learned when attempting to fix the dishwasher, BFS, our home warranty company, can not be depended upon. Sarah decided to take matters into her own hands, solving our heating problems for good by throwing the breaker.

When I got home today, Sarah asked me "How many people did you tell?" My answer of "No one." thoroughly disappointed her. So here it is for all the world to see.

Sarah fixes heaters!

Q School - World Golf Tour

Several years back I reluctantly accepted the fact that a PGA Tour career was not in my future.

However, about a week ago I was told the dream could still be alive. The news came in the form of an email with a simple little link to the World Golf Tour. I have since passed along the link to numerous others.

In it's current format, you play a 9 hole closest to the pin challenge. You are then ranked against all other competitors in the world. Also, awards are given out for Holes in One, Consecutive Shots inside 20 Feet and Top 100 rankings. A full 18 hole course is rolling out in the near future and you'll be able to play foursomes online with friends.

I haven't cracked the top 500 players in the world, but am doing my best to hold my own here in the Southwest Region. My caddie spot is still open.... any takers? Levings?

dodged the ball, but not the low blow

It happened when I least expected it. I was dominating Savanna in a game of Dodge Ball. She seemed to be enjoying defeat. Laughing hysterically each time she was struck

Turns out she was just waiting to take me out with one big blow to my ego. As I wound up for the last point, Savanna yells to me "BRING IT ON OLD MAN!"

Game, Set, Match.

Savanna - 1
Old Man - Humiliated

BFS vs. BPS

The last few days I've been on a roll, both on the blog and around the house.

Two weeks ago to the date, our dishwasher began to have water standing at the completion of the wash cycle. We phoned our home warranty service, Broward Factory Service better known as BFS, to have the issue repaired.

A few days later a "technician" arrived on site only to tell us we needed a new part. A few more days later he returned to install the part and deem the dishwasher fixed.

That evening water still stood at the bottom of the machine so we called again and was told their "Best Man" would be out tomorrow (which is today) to fix our dishwasher. He did come by, did something and again deemed the dishwasher fixed.

You guessed it. Still water standing. You see when water is left after the cycle, the next cycle doesn't really get clean. Which means you have to re-wash the dishes by hand. As I've been told a time or two.... "if you want something done right, do it yourself".

So I pulled the dishwasher out from under the counter. Took off the two drain covers from within the machine. There appeared to be no blockage. So I next pulled (I use that term loosely) off the back and the water began to drain into the "bucket" I provided. I next blew into the hose and "felt" something dislodge from the hose. I was feeling pretty good. Everything was put back together and pushed back under the counter.

We just finished our first cycle in two weeks with ZERO water standing at the end.

Woo Hoo. BFS' "Best" - 0 BPS - 1.

You might want to second guess that home warranty coverage from BFS.

Boggie Woggie, Woggie!

You can't do without it, It's Electric.

This weekend Sarah and I received a new light for the dining room. There was some concern by my better half, that I wouldn't be able to install this Christmas gift on my own. Given my family history with electricity, I completely understood her concern.

Now I had successfully hung a few ceiling fans in the past and thus didn't expect any issues today. Still I had something to prove. I carefully read the limited instructions. Turned off power to the room. Made SURE Green, White and Black MATCHED Green White and Black. Utilized an electric tester I had purchased in the past. You get the idea, crossed each "t" and dotted each "i".

And surprise, surprise, the install was completed without much trouble at all. No blown light bulbs, microwave, furnace or washing machine.

Next time there's electric trouble in T-town, give me a call. I'll be glad to offer some help.

Bath Time - Mobile Blogging

Luke loves the bath! Sent using Mobile Blogging via my new Motorolla Q9c.

Guilt from Loyalty

This evening Sarah is still at the office working to have one very BIG month. With my free time I went out to the web to see if anyone still visits this site. I was pleasantly surprised to see I have some loyal followers. You know who you are, thanks for always checking in.

Also interesting, I get about 1 hit a week (I'm big time!) via a google search.

From Illinois "no one comes into our house and pushes us around" visited for a few minutes.

Someone in Denver was looking for info on the "kfc bowl" and found it here.

The funniest search finding my site? From NY "1,2,3 to the 4 snoop doggy dog and dr dre at the door" I bet they weren't expecting a kindergarten story.

And my favorite, "Turkeys are done, People are Finished" enjoyed the read so much they came back a few days later.

So my tag line "My feeble attempt to contribute to the wonderful world of the internet." is a success! :-)

No Girls Allowed!

Today, all the girls in the family are baking cookies from sun up to sun down. And, let me tell you, the boys and I are truly enjoying the peace and quite.

Yesterday, was full of nonsense. I'll share with you two examples. Sarah had an out of town customer appointment which required a little over an hour drive each way. About 10am, while I'm in the middle of a conference call with my boss, Sarah dials my phone TWICE. Each call was followed by voicemail messages. I text to her: "on a call"... She replies: "HAAAA HAAAA!!".

Here's one of the messages.

In case you couldn't make out the lyrics, that was I Ain't Missing You - by Joan White. Just splendid.

# 2. While I was unpacking the car, Sarah and Savanna were doing some early preparation for the full day of cooking. This required for them to use room temperate stick butter. As I'm headed to the garage for the last time Sarah says, "Look! Pretty smart huh?" I look and she has two gas burners lit with three sticks of butter walled around them. I gave her a courtesy "Real smart" and headed to the garage. Before I made it back to the house Savanna was yelling "DAD!!! HURRY THE STOVE IS ON FIRE!!!"

Today, the boys and I are the smart ones for staying home. We are NOT missing anyone. Nor will there be any fires to put out. Good luck with the cookies ladies.

10 Years

I finally received my new drivers license in the mail today. As should be expected, items on my driving record prevented the new license from arriving on time.

My old license issued to me on my birthday in 97 was long overdue for a new photo.



So roughly 10 years later (this was in June) I walked into the local DPS office excited to apply for my new license. I suspected their might be some trouble as I had two pending traffic citations I was contesting in our wonderful legal system. I brought with me some documentation to help clear my name.

After a bit of research by their detailed staff, I was told there was nothing to be concerned about and completed the renewal process. I have to admit, leaving the office I was quite jovial. 3 months later instead of a new license, I received notice that my license had been suspended.

After spending several hours on hold and speaking with voice response operators way too long I dropped $90 on "fees" and all was made better. TaaaDa!


I'm good to go for another 5 years! I guess the state feels they need to check in on me more frequently than every 10 years.

we will continue to tell you "You are Happy!" until you know it

What an evening. My throat is sore, my hands hurt and my feet ache.

It all started with a trip to the grocery store. We were confident it would be a successful journey. Luke had eaten, gone for a walk and was in a fresh diaper. Sarah and I, with Luke riding along, made it through (every isle of) the store, pushing the cart to capacity, without any major issues. In fact, Luke was the perfect little boy and as a result, received several compliments from other store shoppers.

We were so pleased with his behavior that after unloading the cart we decided to run another errand. This one was easy. It simply required a short 15 minute trip to my in-law's house. Luke didn't even need to get out of the car.

We arrived. Jumped out of the car and opened the door for Luke so he could still hear us or maybe us hear him. Before we even had the house door open Luke began SCREAMING! We couldn't stop him. We both tried.... he had lost it. Quickly we jumped back in the car and headed home. More SCREAMING. I'm serious. This wasn't crying, he was mad and wanted to be sure we knew it. I attempted to calm him by holding his "pacy" in his mouth. He ripped it way and threw it to the floor.

Suddenly! Like the sun breaking through the recently ever present Dallas clouds, Sarah began to sing. If.... YOU'RE...... Happy and you know it CLAP YOUR HANDS! me: CLAP, CLAP...... you know how it goes. STOMP, STOMP..... ALL THREE!

Luke stopped screaming. He wasn't Happy, but he did quit yelling at us. We sang the song clear through I'm guessing 3 times. Then Sarah switched to a different song, BINGO or something like that.... The screaming quickly returned. Back to Happy and You Know it. I bet we sang it 10 times before finally making it home.

Forced happiness. Good times.

Red River Rivalry

How does this OU Football fan find himself in a Texas "t"?


No I'm not riding the bandwagon. Instead, I'm sleeping with the enemy.


My apologies to both schools and their fans. I doubt either are pleased.

Legendary

About a week ago or so this "bird" (said in Mary Lou's best voice - emphasize the B! - hold the r) came strolling through our front yard.

What kind of "bird" is it, you ask? My thoughts exactly. My first guess was.... the friendly blue bird of happiness. Not quite. After doing some research on Google and Wikipedia I determined it was a little blue heron, often found near swamps and creeks. Although we have no creeks or ponds to speak of in the area, neighbors informed Sarah and me that it's nest was just a block over on Hall. For no identifiable reason I took this "bird" sighting as a good sign.

Fast Forward to this past Friday. I had the pleasure of hosting 3 of my oldest friends, Eric, Darin and Danny, at the house for my birthday weekend. We ate much good food. Nearly (I use the term loosely) set the all time high score on a punching bag machine at the local dive. Mastered Wii Sports. Witnessed, from the 7th row, a rare Texas Rangers victory. Competed in 18 holes of demanding miniature golf. And played several serious games of pool basketball. In the end, Eric deemed himself champion of the most events and crowned himself King. Here's a photo for the Tarkio trophy case.

I think it is no coincidence that this birthday, my 33rd, is the jersey number of my favorite basketball player and coach, Larry "Bird". I expect this to be one legendary year.

a little too big.... for his britches

Folks meet Elmo. Join his "circle of trust" and you can call him Mo.


Although his legs are small, Mo lives quite large. Each night he is tucked in on goose down bedding. Check his water dish? No that isn't tap water.... it's Ozarka. Yea it's a bit ridiculous.

However, this past week Mo took it to all new levels. You see at the last Vet visit Mo was told he needed to drop a few pounds. The best way to accomplish the task was to substitute one scoop of food with green beans.

Initially, this change was eagerly accepted. We used up the two cans of French Cut Green Beans in the pantry and Mo loved them. Without giving it much thought we picked up 8 cans of Wal-Mart green beans during out next trip to the neighborhood grocery store.

Surprise... Surprise... Mo won't eat cheap green beans. He kicks his bowl. He spreads them all over the kitchen. Worst of all... he strolls around this place thinking he's Paulie Walnuts.

Bursting at the Seams

T-Town, better know as Tarkio, Mo was bursting at the seems this past Memorial Day weekend. We had the whole family together for the first time since Luke joined the team. That along with everyone else back for the annual Alumni Dinner/Dance had the town in a vivacious state.

For more pics check my Flickr site.

not your typical guys night

This weekend Sarah went on a little business trip leaving the house to me and the boys. Knowing the kind of trouble an 11 year old dog and a 7 month baby can find on a Saturday, she was hesitant to leave the three of us alone.

Luckily for her our evening more closely resembled a date night than a guys night.


Bowl of Dog Food + Jar of applesauce + 6 oz of formula + Baby Einstein = Dinner, Drinks and a movie. I've got some work to do with these guys.

Lazy Sunday

Does it get any better than kicking back in a La-Z-Boy and watching the March Madness with your best friend for an entire Sunday afternoon?




It Does! Add barefoot, chairside roomservice and going to the bathroon in your chair. The perfect Lazy Sunday.

You gotta be full of it....

I realize it is only day 2 of the NCAA Tourney but the banter is alreadyin full swing.

This year Melanie is, again, hoping to improve on her 1 and 9 head to head record against me in tournament pools. Unfortunately for her I've jumped out to an early lead, prompting her use a favorite family saying, "A dog that poops fast, doesn't poop long."

While the saying my be accurate, something tells me it isn't applicable to my tourney bracket.

Happy St. Patty's Day.

BIG WINNER IN VEGAS!!!

It's a widely accepted theory that just about any thing can happen on a weekend trip to Vegas. My last trip to fabulous Las Vegas was no exception.

What was intended to be "just" a 30th birthday party for my brother in law, David, turned out to be much, much more.

That's right Sarah and I got married at the Little White Wedding Chapel, Saturday night, Feburary 24th.

Thanks to David's brother Jon for the photographs.

75% Winston

This past week, Luke surpassed the 3 month timeline and in doing so received two new labels.

The 1st we learned during our most recent doctor's visit. Luke's height and weight puts him in the 75th percentile. The below photo does a good job of displaying why.

The 2nd was given to him by his grandparents. They enjoy calling him "Winston." See any resemblance?

Here is a quote from Churchill.... "There is no finer investment for any community than putting milk into babies."

Based on Luke's size, he's in full agreement.

Mobility

These days it seems the "latest and greatest" is all about being mobile. There's mobile phones, mobile internet and mobile employees that lead to mobile workforces then offices.

But the latest and greatest "mobile" item at our house has Luke a little upset. You see, over the last couple of weeks, Beckett has fully mastered the art of walking. Yes he's mobile. He loves to go places without having anywhere to go.

What's the problem? We have found Luke's pacifiers in the toilet and his music box in the diaper genie.

Beckett appears to be quite a prankster.

The South is Soft

Today a little snow mixed in with a little sleet fell on North Texas. The result? Most of the Dallas - Fort Worth population stayed home from work and school.

Luckily, I was entertained by Luke and watched 8 hours of "Winter Blast" coverage on NBC5i. While I was a bit embarrassed some frozen precipitation kept me home, I was glad to not be stuck out in the mess.

Savanna also got out in it, making her best Texas Snowman.

Let's hope for warmer weather tomorrow.

How Many?

Bath time for a 11 week old should be no problem huh? When everyone is together it becomes a bit more challenging.

So I pose the question.... How many people does it take to bath a baby?

The answer: 4

happy NEW year

Hello... HELLO!!! Anyone out there? I'm hoping so... I've decided to give this blog thing another run in 07. Here it goes.

Right in step with the New Year I have two other items that are fairly new.

The word is out on this first one but he has yet to be formally introduced via the blog. Folks meet Luke.
He has two big fans.

The second, is a new career opportunity with Sprint. I'm just getting started, but really excited to learn about the cellular side of the telecom industry.

Something worth sharing

I'm not out of retirement but just stopping by the "office" to share some news.

I picked up a paper when I was down in Mansfield today and Savanna's picture was looking back at me. Front and center.

They wrote a nice article about the difficulties of children going off to school for the first time. Savanna's picture isn't attached to the article, but trust me, she is adorable.

I don't know how long the article will be available so I hope you catch it before it is gone.

Blogger Retirement

Folks, I'm hanging it up or it this case closing the laptop.

I might be slightly more busy but not so much that it can be used as an excuse. It seems I just don't have the interest any longer. So rather than leaving you wondering when the next post will be (not that anyone is)... this will be my last, at least for a while.

I was a good year run. I enjoyed it. I hope you did as well. If I change my plans and come out of retirement I'll shoot you (I do know who you are) an email so you know.

Thanks for reading.

Brett

Low Standards

These two blogs got my attention. Who would have thought a shower head would be a good example of an American epidemic. Here is how shower heads are tied to the lowering of our standards.

Best of all is when you are part of something that refuses to lower their standards. That is when you get that special nod. If you read the last you will really enjoy this one.

Here's to refusing to lower your standards.

BTW... Happy Birthday 7 - 11

The NBA Draft

...not that anyone cares but Bill Simmons wrote a great Welcome back, diary from draft day.

Here's a teaser...

8:20 -- Here's why you have to love the NBA draft: It's the only show where you could ever see a graphic like, "Q: WOULD MOST LIKE TO MEET? A: HIS PARENTS."

32 on 23

This past Friday I turned 32 years young. The weekend events added up to one of the better birthdays I've experienced in the last several years.

I got an early start to the festivities, on Thursday evening, with a round of golf out at GSW. This, naturally, was followed up by a second round of golf on Friday afternoon before making my first visit to Pappas Bros. Steakhouse.

While the restaurant is widely regarded as one of the best steakhouses in town I had somehow managed to miss out on dining there until Friday. The experience lived up to it's expectations. I learned some new things about wine, enjoyed a great lobster bisque, a wonderful steak, fantastic service and had the best company imaginable.

Following dinner I was treated to surprise plans for the remainder of my weekend, a Kansas City trip. I left out of Dallas Love Field just before lunch on Saturday and met my KC hosts, Darin Lee and Eric Levings, in no time at all. Our time together was full of surprises.

We had tickets to a Royals game, but there was a surprise rain delay. Once we finally entered the gates we were surprised to learn it was Frank White bobble head night. By the middle of the 7th, the Royals were ahead and "surprise" went on to win. After the game we ventured down to "the boats" for some blackjack. Surprisingly, well maybe not, my cousin Travis was there and as usual winning big. All in all, I think (i know i did) the Tarkio Triad had a great time getting back together again for a short weekend.

Lastly but certainly not leastly... I was treated to my favorite oreo dessert upon my return home. 32 is off to a great start.

BP meets DP

Turns out ESPN has caught wind of my post that wasn't. Dan Patrick (DP) met up with me (BP) this evening to discuss our opinions on the NBA Finals.

We both agree the Mavs win game 6, but Dan says "the Heat in 7" I guess we'll see who has more sports knowledge.

Quote for Father's Day

When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years.

Mark Twain

Happy Father's Day

The fat man and a tough little girl

The last two days I have been thinking over what was sure to be a good blog post. It involved me working with the Mavs and helping them turn the series around; beating the Heat, to win the NBA Championship. In order to make the post work, I planned to use some photos of me with Dirk and Mark Cuban at the 2001 Dallas All Sports Association banquet.

Yesterday, when the photos were found, I didn't look anything like I do today. In the picture was a chubby guy with only a slight resemblance to the me of today. There I was, less than shoulder high to Dirk and as wide as Mark. The result? Neither the photos nor the story will make this blog.

Following the disappointing photo find, the kids and I headed to my office to pick up a few items. When we arrived, the parking lot was nearly empty and Savanna jumped out of the car all fired up. I walked around to the other side of the car to get Beckett. As I opened the back door, Savanna, doing her best Chinese Fire Drill, ran right into the edge of the door. She immediately began crying. I told her to watch where she was going and bent over to take a look at the damage. It was WAY worse than I expected. The blood was already running through her fingers and beginning to drip on the ground.

My first thought was doctor or hospital. Then I remebered we had a first aid kit in the office. I can do anything a doctor could right? We dashed into the building up the elevator and into the bathroom. Savanna, by this time, was already telling me how tough she was and that the blood didn't bother her. I cleaned it up with a wet papertowel then treated it with an alchol swab (she did not enjoy this) and finally a nice bandage. All better. The kid can take a lick.

KFC's 'Infamous" Bowl

Have any of you seen the commercial or tried KFC's new Famous Bowls? You recall the dinner table comment when someone attempted to keep their food separated on their plate? "It all ends up together in your stomach." Well, KFC has put it all together on the plate or in this case all together in a bowl.

Who in the KFC marketing department thinks this will work? Here's the tag line..."All the KFC favorites you know and love served in a convenient easy-to-eat bowl!"

It sounds more like a hot slice of Thanksgiving Dinner pizza.

it's not mars, nor poland... it's home.

I spent this past Memorial Day weekend with the kids in my home town of Tarkio, Missouri.

While "city folk" might compare visiting Tarkio to an experience in a foriegn land or on different planet, I couldn't think of a much better place to call home. We had a great time with family and friends. My sister has several fantastic pictures to prove it. While Tarkio isn't quite what it once was, there still is a wonderful Alumni party each May. This year it brought together Tarkio's first 3 bloggers. With a little brainwork from the briefcase you might actually find something of substance(s).

this could be trouble....

Last week, I received one of those letters no one ever wants to see in their mailbox. The Internal Revenue Service was making a case for some back taxes they felt were owed to them.

I wasn't pleased about it, but in usual fashion was confident things would be resolved without much trouble. I sent the letter over to my tax man and until today hadn't thought much about it. Turns out the IRS is taking things much more seriously than I. Below is yesterday's detail for one specific visitor to my site:

IP Address: 152.216.7.# (INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE)
ISP: INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE
City: District of Columbia
State: Washington
Time of Visit: May 19 2006 10:33:38 am
Referring URL: http://blogsearch.go...author:Brett
Search Engine: blogsearch.google.com
Search Words: inpostauthor:brett smith

Come on Uncle Sam. If you are so concerned, pick up the phone and give me a call. I wonder if they use Google to catch all the bad guys?

Traffic doesn't equal revenue....flirting might.

MySpace is killing Amazon in traffic, getting 4 times the number of web page views a day. Should Amazon be worried? Nope. Seth Godin tell us why in simple terms.

Amazon users visit to buy stuff, and MySpace users visit to flirt.

Last time I checked, flirting was a fairly unprofitable activity.

I've got an exception to that rule Seth, there are several saleswomen that can turn a nice profit flirting.

A Big Adventure

Isn't it funny how the littlest of things can take a turn for a big new experience. Back at the beginning of the year, I signed Savanna up for her second year of soccer. I was ready for several weekends of watching games but that changed with this email:

Dear Parents -

I have been working on forming teams for the U5 girls division and I still have 12 girls without a coach. This means I am forming 2 teams of 6 girls and I need two volunteers to coach.

Please let me know if you can coach this season, because if not, these 12 girls will not be able to play and I do not want that to happen.

Thanks,
Karen Baird
U5 Girls Commissioner

I have very little soccer experience and even less skill but after two days without a volunteer stepping up I decided I would coach the team.

It's been a fantastic experience. While we've yet to win a game we've all had a ton of fun. Saturday's game was worth writing about. It was a game of many first. Savanna scored her 1st goal, which gave us our 1st lead of the season. And after falling behind 5-2 we came back and had our 1st tie game late in the 4th quarter before losing 5-6. The girls have made SO much improvement in a short amount of time. They've done almost all of it on their own.

The Explorers play their final game of the year this Saturday. Savanna, Tori (who won't play unless it's a blue ball), Kaylie, Camryn and Elizabeth (didn't make the picture) take the field at 10:30.

a not so extraordinary collection

my new medium to communicate

I recently received my Verizon cell phone bill and for the second consecutive month I've exceed 1,100 text messages. Do the math, that's just a shade over 36 messages a day, every day.

For a select few of you, I can see the wheels turning in your head. That's just ridiculous. I ensure you, texting is not for school days alone. A few benefits:

There are no uncomfortable silences or talking over each other.
No answers and voicemails are not an option.
Grammatical errors are not only accepted they are encouraged!

the evolution of dance

This one was sent to me today. It is a rare display of ingenuity combined with phenomenal talent. It's six minutes of entertainment. Enjoy.

i've got a great memory it's just short

There was a third, short topic I had hoped to blog about but I've forgotten it. It was there when I started writing but it's gone now.

Buyers Market at Boston Market

Some mornings I wake up feeling great. I roll out of bed with anticipation of what the day will bring. Today was one of those mornings. I mean WOW! Something good was bound to happen today. Luckily for me I only had to wait for lunch to find out what it was.

I made the short trip from my office to the Boston Market (BTW when looking up the link, I found coupons! I could have saved a buck.) just down the road. I entered the restaurant with a pretty good feel for what I wanted. I was distracted initially by the new menu that had been placed above the order station. Following a brief re-acclamation to my choices I placed the order. Immediately, I noticed the employees had new hats. These weren't your typical chain food hats, these hats had style. I had to have one.

Time to start selling. Even when you are buying you should sell.

"Are those hats for sell?" I asked. Now the two employees behind the counter thought this was a real funny question. "No, they aren't for sell."

Pay them a compliment, this get's them to drop there guard.

"Well the should be, those are sharp hats." "Can you get me one?" At this point they have no idea what to do. Apparently such a request had never been made. Several more employees were starting to find humor in our conversation. Then much like John Wayne would ride in to town, here came the store manager out of the back office. She stared right though me.

I wasn't sure what to do.... "I'm free advertising for you." I was in! "Are you going to wear it at the Byron Nelson?" she asked. "Absolutely." She had one last question, "Are you going to act like a fool?"

Here I made a common sales mistake. I assumed I knew the answer for which she was looking. Thank goodness it didn't kill the deal.

"Me? No I won't act like a fool." I was smiling ear to ear. "Well then you can't have it." All her employees thought she was hilarious.


Hat and a great meal, $8.99.

Parenting is easy.

Any parent looking for a weekend full of kids activities in the DFW area should look no further than Dallas' GuideLive.com. Now granted, Saturday afternoon was already filled up with a soccer game and birthday party but other open times filled up quickly.

Friday's plans were made easy when I heard that Brian Fields, a member of our Covad team, and his band were playing a youth concert not to far from Mansfield. The evening was a big hit with Savanna as she broke into her own dance routine several times.

Saturday we got up early to catch a (free) kids magic show in Fort Worth. After grabbing a quick bit to eat we got ready for our second to last soccer game. The team put together it's best game of the year. Still losing in excess of 10 goals but scoring a season high 5 goals. I can promise you, compared to our other games this one felt like a win. On a side note Savanna is really aggressive. Had this been real soccer she certainly would have been red carded. The post game birthday party wore out Savanna as I had hoped so we stayed in Saturday evening.

Sunday, following church we headed north to Willow Bend Mall for a butterfly exhibit. On the way to the event I made a failed attempt to teach Savanna about a Toll Road. I ran into such objections as "This road is mean!" or "Don't let it take my dimes Dad!". Anyway, we burned a good part of the afternoon and both kids had a nice time.

Savanna took this one.



Beck didn't take this one.

Better than the real thing...

A short time back I spent a few days in the "city" visiting my good friend Jason Ratliff.

On Saturday afternoon, right in the middle of a great weekend, Jason and I took a trip to Shea Stadium; to catch my first Mets game. We had a wonderful time. The weather was great, we got on the "jumbotron" and I saw the infamous Mets fan wearing a Red Sox jersey that read Buckner 86 on the back.

If the jersey doesn't make any sense to you watch this great replay of Game 6. It's a bit long but well worth it. Click on the play button, it will load.

It's all about the positive attitude.

So this morning I was encouraging Savanna to brush her teeth. "Let's Race!" I hollered.

Into the bathroom I ran. By the time she caught up with me, I'm was nearly finished.

Me: "I'm the winner!"

Savanna: "We aren't racing."

Me: "Winner, Winner!"

Savanna: "IT WASN'T A RACE!!!"

Me: "Chicken Dinner."

Savanna: "Dad! STOP!"

Me: "How's second place feel?"

Savanna: "TERRIFIC!"

Second Fiddle Again....

It's not so much winning or losing, MUCH more important is winning or losing within the family. Yet again (for the 8 time in 9 tries).... Melanie has secured second place in the annual Smith Family NCAA Tournament bracket. Congrats!!! Your the first loser, the top runner up!!!

I am stuck with first, again. All those high expectations. Forced to listen to excuses from the other participants. Sure it was just one point. Yea, who could have picked the games correctly this year.

If you see her....

Give her a smile, a pat on the shoulder or a big hug. There's always next year.

HOOTERS is kid friendly!

Yea, Yea... I know I've been neglecting the blog lately. There's no need for any detailed excuses. I'll just work on keeping "all ya all" (plural for "ya all" and yes I've been in Texas 10 years now) better informed and hopefully entertained.

So I had the kids Saturday and was tasked with the challenge of meeting everyone's wants and needs all at the same time for dinner. Beck made it easy, he just needed his bottle. Savanna and I were a bit more difficult. First off, I didn't want to make anything nor clean up afterward. I also wanted to be sure and catch two games on TV; the Mavs and the NCAA Basketball Tourney. Savanna on the other hand was more worried about the food. "Dad, I want cheeeeese sticks and uuhhhmmmm... ranch!" I suggested she have some chicken as well, to which she agreed. This left us only one choice for dinner, HOOTERS!

Trust me, I know the place was suspect at best for kids but we had a great time. Savanna loved sitting on the "big tall chairs". She got a great coloring sheet with 4 new crayons. Our waitress was kid friendly. She let Savanna try and throw our order into their kitchen on the fancy "tennis ball on a wire" system. Most importantly to Savanna, they served ranch with everything.

I got to watch both my games and Beck loved it too....

Refusing to Accept Free

This evening, following dinner Savanna asked me if I wanted any dessert. Knowing I was in for more than a tasty teat, I gladly accepted her offer.

Savanna: "How about some imagination Ice Cream?"
Me: "Ohhh, Sounds perfect."
Savanna: "What kind do you want?"
Me: "Vanilla with Oreo cookies."

she makes two imagination scoops then mixes it up a bit

Savanna: "Here you go. That'll be $25 dollars."
Me: "$25 Dollars?!"

she gives up way to quick....

Savanna: "How about $4 dollars" Holding out 4 fingers.
Me: "How about free?"
Savanna: "Ok, $3 dollars."

now I'm laughing and she's confused

Me: "No. FREE!"
Savanna: "What is Free?"
Me: "Zero"
Savanna: "Ok, give me Zero."
Me: "You drive a hard bargain, but ok."

I gave her two imagination Zeros to make her feel better.

Kobe Bryant will be the 2008 USA Basketball Team

My sister just pointed me to a great spoof article on the 2008 Olympic USA Basketball team.

Turns out instead of having a "team" of individuals, the USA wants to go with just one, Kobe Bryant. David Stern justifies the decision by stating, "81 points will beat a lot of teams, especially foreign ones."

Not the One and Only

Yesterday afternoon I had what is sure to be a once in a lifetime event happen. An event so rare, that I am willing to bet good money it will never happen to any of you out there reading my blog. It's a bit confusing. but I'll do my best to explain.

I had a scheduled 2pm meeting at a North Dallas Starbucks with a fellow telcom sales rep. I knew of the guy I was meeting but had never seen him in person. Appproaching the coffee house doors I could see just inside there were two men fitting my contacts profile. As I opened the doors both men were smiling suspiciouly. I admit I was courious.

"I'm Brett Smith"

"Who are you here to see" says the guy on the left.

"Mark"

The first guy directs my attention to the second. As we shake hands he's still smiling.

"What's up?" I ask looking back to the other guy.

He really thinks it's funny now, "I'm here to meet Brett Smith also."

"Are you serious?" I ask.

He goes on to explain that he also had a 2pm meeting at this same North Dallas Starbucks with a Brett Smith he had yet to meet. 3 minutes later his story proved to be true when Brett Smith #2 showed up.

Can somebody tell me the probability of that happening? Where's Otis Miller when you need him.

Updating the blogroll

Today I read 45% of bloggers stop posting to their site just 3 months after their blog is created. I guess that would explain why yet another blog on my "Good Blog" list is going to the graveyard.

In his last post, dated 12/21, Reese wrote about a donut thief. Did the thief also steal your computer? or maybe just each good idea for a blog. Reese joins C Mill1 and Johnny Stevens in the used to read but no longer post bucket. There's no lid on the bucket fellas, start posting again anytime.

Out with the old, in with the new... Professor David Freeland has done his best to get me in the musical mainstream. Back in the day, which is getting to be WAY back in the day, I was right smack dab in the middle of the mainstream. D. Lee and I DJ'ed all the coolest (high school) parties held in northwest Missouri. Slowly but surely I lost track of what all the cool kids were playing on their boom boxes. Dr. Dave is solving those problems. He's got me listening to Bloc Party, Arcade Fire and Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah. I ain't cool, but at least my music is. You too can join the music fun. Just check out Hearsay on my "Good Blogs" list.

HD Net

This week, HD Net is playing the U2 Vertigo concert from Chicago. I clicked on it (DirectTv channel 79) last night and caught nearly an hour of the 1 1/2 show. Other than the 2004 Olympics, it's the best show I've seen in HD.

Happy Birthday!

The whole blogging thing isn't easy. This morning, I was riding the wonderful waves of the internet. A cool breeze was blowing through my golden locks. It was raining outside, but in our office (as it does on most days) the sun was shining. Anyway, I stumbled on a little gem of a blog topic.

The Oscar Mayer Wienermoblie turns 70 this year! Can you believe it? I thought is would only be about half my age.

Way back in 1996, I was on a little weekend trip down in Houston when I spotted the Wienermoblie on the freeway. For all you wiener dog lovers out there, it was only 9 1/2 dog years old at the time and didn't show its age at all. Luckily, they stoped to fill up its 32 gallon fuel tank only 15 minutes after I began to follow them. I had to see the inside of the Wiener. The hotdog on wheels was spectacular. Roomy, comfortable and loaded with lots of free giveaways. The folks driving loved their jobs.

So to make this whole blog post work, I had to find my photo from the event. Given that I hadn't seen the photo since before I was married I knew it could be trouble locating it. I sorted through 3 file cabinets and roughly 12 boxes from our last 2 moves before finally locating the picture.

Hotdogs sound good, huh?

the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

Savanna is a fantastic kid. She is bright, energetic, charming and like most kids her age, impressionable. Unfortunately, a few things I found to be pretty funny didn't go over too well with the faculty at school.

Savanna, thankfully, couldn't get anyone to sing along to, "when the pimps get an attitude, drop it like it's hot." Nor did Mrs. Kelly find it funny when Savanna took counting a whole different direction, "1, 2, 3... and to the 4 Snoop Doggy Dog and Dr. Dre at the door."

Just when her music interest had been cleaned up another problem arose. When fellow classmates would get up to go use the restroom Savanna would holler "LET IT RIP!" Really funny, but disruptive to any classroom environment.

So, I took the heat. Cut out the funny business and cleaned up my act. It was smooth sailing at school for several months. Then Apa came to town.

We were just about finished putting together the trampoline. I was hanging up the safety net when my pants were pulled down to my ankles. I calmly finished tying the net then turned to find the guilty party. There they were. Two peas in a pod, Apa and Savanna giggling uncontrollably.

Savanna thinks the new "game" is hilarious. It won't be long before she tries it at school and when she does Apa will have some explaining to do.

bounce with me

Growing up, I was the kid in town with the trampoline. It was a source of entertainment just about anytime the weather would allow for me to get on it. I mastered flips, twists and turns. When I could get away with it, I would move it under the basketball hoop for a game of "slamball." I even remember sleeping on it a time or two.

Well, about three weeks ago my Aunt Carol called to let me know she and Grandma Irene were buying Savanna and Beck a trampoline for our backyard. I have to admit, I was more excited than Savanna to here the news. Today, after the rain cleared up, Dad and I pieced together what is sure to be a ton of fun for the family.

the kid can sell

I've yet to gain Vanita's approval (not that I need to), but I'm going to go ahead to offer Savanna up for employment. I'm telling you, this girl can close a deal.

This evening, Vanita was out of the house leaving me to tend to the kids. When it came time for Savanna to have her evening glass of warm milk I though it was time to change the routine.

Me: Savanna I don't make warm milk anymore.

Savanna: WHAT? DAD! I want warm milk.

Me: Sorry, Savanna. It's cold milk or no milk at all.

Savanna: Ok, Dad you put the cold milk in my cup. (she pauses, I can only assume she is looking for buying signals) Then put it in the microwave and I'll push the buttons. OK?

Really, I tried to come up with an answer other than "fine" or "ok" but couldn't. Zig Zigler look out, even on your best day, you don't have a chance.

The Spellcheck Generation

My spelling is horendous. I often argue that spellcheck removed all willingness needed to learn the correct spelling of each word. It appears new internet enhancements are doing everything possible to ensure I will not be alone.

Seth Godin, I was wrong.

Trekking to Patterson, NJ tonight. Went to Yahoo maps, typed in the address and boom, "That address doesn't exist. Here are directions from the nearest town."

So I went back to my source. Checked it twice. Copied and pasted. Did a second Google search to be sure the address was right.

Turns out that Paterson only has one "t".

I share this with you because it's a great example of how dependent we are on the search engines to fix our mistakes for us. Should Yahoo Maps have "known" that Paterson is often spelled with two "t"s? Of course.

The danger zone is when only some of the obvious mistakes are caught. We're being trained to be sloppy, and expecting that will always work. Watch a kid search on Google--they don't even try to get the spelling right. Why bother?

Big Time

This past weekend we took a little trip to Southlake Town Square. The place is one of a kind. The town and the square are relatively new but was built to appear much older. Here's a picture of the square on the 4th.


We had a great time. Returned a few gifts, purchased some new ones, had a relaxing lunch and enjoyed temperatures near 80 degrees. However, the highlight of our day was quite unexpected.

We noticed a small crowd of children gathered near a fountain at the center of the square. Savanna hurried over and found what had to be the largest dog I have ever seen.


The dog's secret? Milkshakes.

Calling all Smiths

Today is your day.

Yes, it was news to me as well. Upon arriving at the office this morning, I was greeted (via IM) by a co-worker in Atlanta "Happy National Smith Day!"

My first instict was that he needed something or was just poking fun. But, a quick Google search confirmed the news.

It is officially listed in Chase's Calendar of Events, a book published annually that tracks about 12,000 such holidays, large and small.

Smith Day commemorates the Jan. 6, 1580, birthday of Captain John Smith, the English colonial leader who helped to settle Jamestown, Va., in 1607.

By sheer numbers, folks named Smith deserve their own day. According to the 1990 U.S. Census, more than 1 percent of the population shared the last name.

Please don't send any gifts.

Embracing Big New Ideas

Did any one catch the new ads running during the at&t Cotton Bowl?

Here's a great post by Brad Feld discussing how at&t "wasted" nearly 1 billion dollars on their new brand, The Deathstar Rises. It is apparent the marketing world needs to be saved and Seth Godin is the guy to do it. Who is Seth Godin?

His site is exceptional. He creates daily posts that are smart, fresh and entertaining. I've added him to my "Good Blogs" list. He even drove me to try out three new web tools. After all I want to be "...the self-elected early adopter, the radical new, (one of) the folks who embrace big new ideas."

So with my extra day of vacation I added Mozilla Firefox, Flickr and del.icio.us to my laptop. If you have some time give them a try.

Mozilla Firefox is a new web browser. You can browse the Web with confidence - Firefox protects you from viruses, spyware and pop-ups. Enjoy improvements to performance, ease of use and privacy. It's easy to import your favorites and settings and get started. Thus far I've found it to better noticeably better than Microsoft Explorer.

Flickr is the best way to store, search, sort and share your digital photos. I've just gotten started with it and I already love it. Scroll down towards the bottom right side of my blog to view my photos.

del.icio.us is like bookmarking websites, but helps with the detail. If bookmarking is similar to saving a magazine issue, del.icio.us would keep track of just your favorite articles.

Best of all, each tool is free and easy to download.